Happy Birthday Ashlynn!

I can't believe it's been 2 years!

You're almost all grown up! :D

No more baby :( So sad!

Happy Birthday Little Girl!

My New/Old Blog Is Up and Running.....

Much more exciting and worth-while reading than this place is my new/old blog that I finally got up and running thanks to this lovely snowy weather :) I had opened that blog account a long time ago, but hadn't posted ANYTHING on it (and you thought I was bad with this blog! HA!), so I decided it was time for a "face-lift" and a purpose!

Go check it out and tell me what you think! Just remember...... it's a work in progress! :)

An Inspirational Oasis

Stuck in the house with the winter blues!

Lots of fighting going on here! LOL Ahhhh sibling rivalry at it's finest. I never thought it was possible for 2 kids to fight more than my sister and I did, but now I know that "yes, it it surely possible!" Only 11:25am and I'm already ready to turn off my ears!" :D

Really funny.....

Andrew saw the Women's UCONN basketball team playing on TV tonight, and with a crinkled up nose he said, "Women, playing basketball? That's just WRONG!"
LOL
So I told him to "Tell that to Sister Marble."
I got the deer in the headlights look, as if to say "oh no, what did I just get myself into!" LOL It was so funny I had to share!

Just another day....

of embarrassing events. What else is new in my life lately. Ahhh.... well, you think I'd learn to live with this, but no, I still feel bad. I don't know why it bothers me. I'm not supposed to care what others think about me, only what my Heavenly Father thinks; and I know that although He can be ashamed of some of my actions that when I come to Him with a humble and repentant heart that He is ready to welcome me back with open arms. Then why oh why do I still care? LOL Why am I still embarrassed? Why do I want to rewind the tape of the past 3 months and pretend that it never happened?

Although it was a very difficult morning/early afternoon the rest of the day has been very nice. Jim and I have had a good afternoon. I know this is probably only temporary, but I will enjoy and revel in it while it lasts. :) Ryan has also had a good weekend, so we'll enjoy that while it lasts as well and leave tomorrow to the Lord.

Not a lot of time......

as usual! LOL Well, I wanted to give a quick update. For Sister Lascurain who keeps asking me when I'm coming back from lunch :) and for Sister Vogel who is probably DYING for some new reading material! :) Everyone else has probably just stopped checking my blog, as have I LOL.

Ok, here's the deal, as most of you probably already know. We've been in a a treatment program with Ryan for the past 6 weeks traveling back and forth 45 min. each way 3 days a week! On top of teaching seminary and regular family life. To say that I've been stressed out, on edge, tired, reaching my breaking point,ect.... is to put it mildly!

Well, Ryan graduated Thursday, and I couldn't be happier to be out of that place. Basically they tried to say that his issues are stemming from the "family issues." Well, any "issues" we're currently experiencing started many many (like 6-9) months after this uncontrollable behavior was getting worse and worse. Frankly the past 3 years of our marriage have been the best 3 years that we've had (out of 10)! Up until this past few months, anyway, because of all the stress of these past 6-9 months of going through what we've been going through with Ryan.

So in any event, part of me just wants to give up because I feel like I'm fighting a giant that I just can't conquer! But after talking with Rebecca and Rachel yesterday on our walk I had a renewed sense of FIGHT in me (at least for a little while). I called back our old counselor, still waiting for a return phone call, because I thought maybe if she has the whole family she can be of more help, and she does already know what's going on, and SHE believes me (I think). I also (and this is hopefully big) emailed a place yesterday. Our counselor (the one I was just mentioning) had given me a book to read (which I bought) called The Explosive Child. The author happens to live in Boston. So I emailed the place he works at in hopes to find a Dr. here that believes what he does. This book is Ryan! I could've written it! I've said most of what this Dr. said in this book about Ryan. It was truely amazing.

It was almost like when I read the Book of Mormon and the feeling I had when the missionaries came and how I just knew that these were the things that I already believed, but someone was able to verbalize them for me and actually put them into words! I NEVER realized that!

Ok, maybe I should blog a little more often it's obviously very helpful. Hmmm.... now I have lots to think about. I have to talk to Jim about this. Why didn't I recognize this before? Ok, now I feel really stupid on top of having guilt for continually wanting to give up on him. ARGH!!!!!! Why does this have to be so difficult? (I don't really need the answer to that question, by the way)

Well, now I wait and see, hopefully this place in Boston will email me this week with info about Dr.'s in CT if not I may have to call them. I hope not. I really don't want to do that. The other thing I keep thinking about is the Brain Mapping seminar that we had for RS a while ago, but I just don't know..... there's no WAY I can afford to do that! I really think it would help! But how do I convince Jim? Hmmm...... I wish Jim had been at that seminar. Argh.

Well, I guess that's my brain dump for now. See ya in another 6 months! LOL