as usual! LOL Well, I wanted to give a quick update. For Sister Lascurain who keeps asking me when I'm coming back from lunch :) and for Sister Vogel who is probably DYING for some new reading material! :) Everyone else has probably just stopped checking my blog, as have I LOL.
Ok, here's the deal, as most of you probably already know. We've been in a a treatment program with Ryan for the past 6 weeks traveling back and forth 45 min. each way 3 days a week! On top of teaching seminary and regular family life. To say that I've been stressed out, on edge, tired, reaching my breaking point,ect.... is to put it mildly!
Well, Ryan graduated Thursday, and I couldn't be happier to be out of that place. Basically they tried to say that his issues are stemming from the "family issues." Well, any "issues" we're currently experiencing started many many (like 6-9) months after this uncontrollable behavior was getting worse and worse. Frankly the past 3 years of our marriage have been the best 3 years that we've had (out of 10)! Up until this past few months, anyway, because of all the stress of these past 6-9 months of going through what we've been going through with Ryan.
So in any event, part of me just wants to give up because I feel like I'm fighting a giant that I just can't conquer! But after talking with Rebecca and Rachel yesterday on our walk I had a renewed sense of FIGHT in me (at least for a little while). I called back our old counselor, still waiting for a return phone call, because I thought maybe if she has the whole family she can be of more help, and she does already know what's going on, and SHE believes me (I think). I also (and this is hopefully big) emailed a place yesterday. Our counselor (the one I was just mentioning) had given me a book to read (which I bought) called The Explosive Child. The author happens to live in Boston. So I emailed the place he works at in hopes to find a Dr. here that believes what he does. This book is Ryan! I could've written it! I've said most of what this Dr. said in this book about Ryan. It was truely amazing.
It was almost like when I read the Book of Mormon and the feeling I had when the missionaries came and how I just knew that these were the things that I already believed, but someone was able to verbalize them for me and actually put them into words! I NEVER realized that!
Ok, maybe I should blog a little more often it's obviously very helpful. Hmmm.... now I have lots to think about. I have to talk to Jim about this. Why didn't I recognize this before? Ok, now I feel really stupid on top of having guilt for continually wanting to give up on him. ARGH!!!!!! Why does this have to be so difficult? (I don't really need the answer to that question, by the way)
Well, now I wait and see, hopefully this place in Boston will email me this week with info about Dr.'s in CT if not I may have to call them. I hope not. I really don't want to do that. The other thing I keep thinking about is the Brain Mapping seminar that we had for RS a while ago, but I just don't know..... there's no WAY I can afford to do that! I really think it would help! But how do I convince Jim? Hmmm...... I wish Jim had been at that seminar. Argh.
Well, I guess that's my brain dump for now. See ya in another 6 months! LOL
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4 comments:
Six months! Are you kidding! We need to find out if you get a response from Boston. Never mind that I see you six days a week! By the way, the whole reason I decided to try blogging was so that I would finally be keeping a journal! So, it does help!
Hi there I know how dificult is to deal with issues by yourself, anyway that brain maping thing well doesn't really works, I told Steven's Dr and he said to be very careful with those doctors who claim to have cures for our brain problems.
Don't be a stranger here I was one who visited your blog daily for updates it's good to have you back.
I've heard about that book in my old ward. We had a counselor come and talk to us in RS about parenting...I'm trying to remember...no luck! Good to see you're finding some time for yourself or just us bloggers :)
I truly understand what going on with your son. My oldest CJ has been seeing everybody from doctors to therapists since he was 6. He has been diagnosed with everything from SED(severe emotional disturbed) to bi-polar which is his current diagnosis. It is an uphill battle and still is. Step by step is what will keep you going. you will get everything under control, I have faith in you!
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