Can't take this anymore!

I QUIT!!! Am I allowed to quit?? ..... NO?!? What do you mean ...NO! I give up. I really do. There has been nothing but fighting alllllll afternoon. I don't care if my kids hate eachother... I really don't, but PLEASE PLEASE for the love of PETE!!!!!!...... leave eachother ALONE! Jessica being here is definitely NOT helping either. She is feeding into Andrew's mean behavior towards Ryan. I'm definitely on the verge of a mental breakdown. I just don't know what else to do. I feel like such a failure. Where did I go wrong? Why am I here? I'm not actually teaching them anything. I really think I'm talking to myself. I've decided parenting isn't for the children to learn and grow..... it's for the PARENTS! It's a test, a trial, if you will. A test that I'm failing with an F-!!!! ARGHHHHHH!!!!! I've tried all the things that I know how to do. I've tried talking I've tried limiting their freedoms..... GRRRR! I know they're bored, but when I let them play outside or in their room then they're MEAN to eachother. I can't be EVERYWHERE at once. I can't be a referee! I don't want to be a referee! I HATE sports! I never signed up for any sport! I signed up to be a mom. A mom who yes has to be firm and strict, but someone who can also be loving and guiding and supportive. Someone who can lead and guide them to make right choices. Not someone who beats her head against the wall on a regular basis! I just want to eat a really LARGE dinner and go to BED! *sigh*



(For those who are sick of reading my rants, I don't blame you. I wouldn't be offended if you don't read my blog. Frankly, I, don't want to read it. The only reason I decided to start doing this on here is because Jim gets sick of hearing me complain and ask for help, so I thought maybe I can start to help myself by writing it all out.)